Sean takes one-liner act to full fledge fanfare

West Chester, PA - It was quiet sunny day at the Pickford Estate, the monster Chevelle was in the usual place (parked in the garage...a favorite place for the high horsepower beast these days), however Chevelle aside, Sean has hit a gram slam, one for the record book with this stunt. After a lot of exhaustive investigating, the staff here at PACC is still not sure if this was a QVC sales pitch, or if he was practicing a new comedy stunt, or just plain stupidity.

Moreover, many have noticed that Sean seems more focused on his comedy routine than the Chevelle as of late, "you know they say…a man doesn't need horsepower to make a grand spectacle of himself" said an exhausted Sean after the grand fanfare. We would like to remind folks, Sean is known to many in PACC as the "go-to guy, the guy that has it together" the "guy you go to for a gasket seal on the side of the road", "the guy that packs the kitchen sink for a two-day car show", a "guy that packs so much stuff in his backpack that it could (or as it would) literally save a hunter's life if he fell out of his tree stand from 30 feet up", however, Sean's "commonsense status" is all about to unravel with this exclusive PACC story. (Disclaimer: Members in PACC range from Clumsy Forgettable Joe to Ginkgo Dan to Large Helmet Head Syndrome…aka Dave BLN)).

Understanding and being sensitive to the fact that it takes special talent to turn a quiet lazy sunny day into an epic event that many (mostly his neighbors) will not forget anytime soon, we wanted to report that there were no major injuries except for Dan getting a hernia from laughing so hard after learning the story behind a serious text message that came in from Sean, "I was like, what in the world is Sean doing? He's called three times and now is texting me about how I won't believe this…" stated a puzzled Dan. We want to emphasize again, whether this was Sean's way of disguising a QVC sales pitch, or whether he was practicing his new comedy act, it had epic proportions! In fact so much, that not even Sean would realize or dream how huge his act would turn out. It ultimately included "2 fire trucks, 1 ambulance, the police and every nozzle nut in the tri-state area. No kidding like 22 people in all." stated an exhausted Sean with a sore finger, "You would have thought I was the president."

Apparently the official story he has secretly told Dan is that he needed a little gas for the lawnmower. "you know…I was a little short on gas for the lawnmower, so I looked at Sam (his 12 year old son) and said, I think I'll siphon some fuel out of the Ford Expedition, how hard can that be, plus it's much more convenient then running to the gas station." To which Sam stated, "Dad, I don't think that is a good idea, I think you should just go to the gas station, you know what happened the last time you made a stupid decision." "Na…"said Sean, "this is a peace of cake Sam, hand me the hose and screwdriver."

Believe me, it gets better, Sean proceeds to stick his finger into the nozzle of his Ford Expedition, and for whatever reason, NOT the siphon hose, then Sean realized "some times what goes in does not come out." What seemed to be an easy chore of cutting the grass, turned into a three hour, two-alarm emergency after calling 9-11! As Sean was trapped against his Ford Expedition, he had to get Sam's attention to call for help, "Should I call 9-11 dad?" said a concerned Sam. One thing about Sean, he is a determined feller, "no" shouted Sean, "hand me that skinny screw driver." Screw driver, grease, and synthetic oil still would not do the trick; Sean's finger was deeply rooted and stuck in the side of his Ford Expedition's gas nozzle. It was only then Sean had realized his dream trick of making headline news on PACC had come true. Thankfully Sean was not injured, his ego and pride was a bit tattered, his finger was sore, but his sense of humor never wavered.

Yes! Sean got his finger stuck in his Ford Expedition gas tank nozzle. Yes, "2 fire trucks, 1 ambulance, the police and every nozzle nut in the tri-state area really happened, and yes you read this correctly. "You know what they say, perception in commonsense is just nonsense, comedy is comedy." So if you happened to see a Ford Expedition on a flatbed with a square hole where the gas tank use to be, it was not your imagination. Now, if we can only get an interview with Sean's insurance agent!

 

2009 Crusin’ Ocean City PACC Style

Where do we start? So much fun, so many laughs, so many busted knuckles and a lot of wrenching…oh and some cool car cruises! A PACC outing is well…nothing short of an epic. Every member had some type of issue and then some. Dan, Joe, Jon, Sean and Tom; every car was wrenched on in one form or another, and there were NO exceptions, even our New Jersey member/friend Tom joined in on the fun. Jon, Joe and Sean made it down Wednesday afternoon, with Dan making it later Wednesday night. Tom made it down Thursday. “I was like what’s up with the ladies all snuggled up in bed at 1:00AM in Ocean City for the big dance,” Dan said as he arrived to what he thought would be the “Hotel California,” Dan stated, ”And I was thinking to myself...This could be Heaven or this could be Hell….I mean I was ready to hang out with the Boys of Summer.” However, the next morning the gang said they partied very hard last night and wanted to get their beauty sleep and re-charge for some serious eating and spectator(ing).

Joe:

Most are convinced by the end of the 2010 Ocean City Car Cruise Joe will have done a complete frame off restoration IN Ocean City. “I figure how many people can say they did a complete restoration in Ocean City” lamented Joe. Apparently the real reason for Joe’s problem was he opted for the detail rags instead of torquing his wheels. He came one lug nut a way from being the first Three-Wheel 71/72 Sprint on Coastal Highway, a trick Joe was eager to pull off. Joe was heard boosting, “Joe’s Garage, where Quality comes 3rd and shine comes 1st” Joe was presented the most mechanical problem award this year by PACC, “I think the guy earned the award fare and square, he spends more time under the car than driving the car” stated Sean.

Tom:

Our good friend Tom Rightler brought down what he thought was his dependable 69 Malibu, however when he saw all the fun the rest of the gang were having, he decided to join in on the fun and blow a water pump gasket, perhaps trying to impress his Mopar buddies at the inlet. “The Mopar guys think they have a lock on breaking down, I was determined to show them Chevy boys can break stuff just as much as the Mopar guys, anytime and anywhere, even on the Ocean City Inlet Parking Lot during the biggest show of the year” stated a proud Tom.

Moreover, don’t let the mild mannered numbers matching persona fool you, Tom is very much into speed and hot rods. “If I brought down the beast (referring to his SS 454), I’d whip some serious Mopar butt…and probably be in jail right next to you Dan,” an adamant Tom stated. Dan assured Tom he knew Ocean City like the back of his hand and convinced Tom we could outrun the cops. “I think he bought that BS” said Dan later that night.

Sean:

Sean spent most of the weekend piloting his bag of new one liners, he had one for every occasion, never repeating except one time. He could be heard saying…“I’m off like a prom dress,” “Sean’s muscle car, where I put muscle in to parking,” “You know what they say; a man with a new engine, is man who owns the parking lot,” “You know what they say; a man that doesn’t pack the kitchen sink, is a man with dirty dishes on vacation.” Sean was a muscle car comedian’s dream never missing a beat, he coined the now famous line, “Joe’s Garage, where Quality comes 3rd and shine comes 1st” (for the record, it is believed Joe stole Sean’s line (see above in Joe commentary).

It was a real battle for the “most gutsy drive your car down” award. Joe and Sean were battling it out all weekend. However, Sean was sporting his new high-horsepower engine and unbeknownst to him a faulting clutch. After making a few trips around the parking lot, it was deemed Sean had the most issues, thus Sean won the award. “I made three passes through the parking lot, even thought about driving it a block or two then the damn thing start spinning on me and I saw three cars at the light, traffic was heavy….hell, I even changed parking places a couple of times” a fire-up Sean stated.

Dan:

Some think Dan has totally lost it; he disguises himself as a trailer queen only to become a madman on Coastal Highway. “It’s like one minute the guy is listening to Barry Manilow and then the next, Ozzy’s Bark at the Moon” said Sean. “You are Nuts!” shouted Tom, “Dude, you are getting out-of-control and totally irresponsible” stated Sean firmly to his good friend Dan. Joe had a different take, in fact Joe was trying to one up Dan, “since I couldn’t take him on in speed, I figure I go for the Three-Wheel-Sprint down Coastal Highway trick, I almost pulled it off” an excited Joe said Saturday night. Dan almost went out in a blaze of glory in front of Hooters, “after fours years, my blower belt decides to move forward and cut my fan wires, thus burning a wire and smoke coming up under the dash….right in front of Hooters with thousands of spectators, I couldn’t have planned it any better” cried a horrified Dan.

Summary:

The PACC Gang never disappoints, their beautiful Chevelles are always a treat to the eyes, even if you do see them on the parking lot with the hood open and the owner underneath working on it. But regardless, a good time was had by all, Joe is getting closer to his dream of a Crusin’ Ocean City full frame off restoration, Jon has finally decided to go with a 103 gear ratio, he figures with his TRMEC 5 Speed and 573 Aluminun block he could literally do 336MPH down Coastal Highway. Sean is excited his one-liners were a big hit and has asked for a PACC vote to be the official PACC comedian, and Dan was very happy to escape with no tickets or jail time.

We like to give a special thanks to our Muscle Car & Hot Rodder friend Niki Vee, his wife and his 67 GTO. “Niki is as crazy as Dan” an anonymous source stated. “You guys let him (Dan) out alone” Niki’s wife said with a puzzled look on her face. Be that as it may, Niki makes good use of his 10 second 67 GTO on Coastal Highway, Dan and Joe tried to keep up as much as possible and had a good time trying, in fact Joe even going out on the limb by doing it on three wheels.

There are many photos and video from the 2009 Crusin’ Ocean City event that will be posted in the coming days, so please check back often. Please also check out Niki's vast Muscle Car photos as well as Crusin’ Ocean City 2009 photos.

Until next time,

PACC

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